Secrets
by Kankokujinpoi
Summary: Stan feels suffocated by his friends and their secrets. Who can help him see the good side of a secret? First story so uh... yea.
1. Chapter 1

"Clyde and Craig H-clapped Bebe."

"What?" Stan Marsh almost dropped Wendy's books she made him carry.

"Shhhh, not so loud, Stan!" Wendy Testaburger hissed while looking around, making sure the coast was clear to talk again about her social update.

"When did this happen?" Stan inwardly rolled his eyes. He hardly cared who Bebe was letting bang her, but not more than 24 hours ago did Kyle Broflosky, his Super Best Friend, send him a text saying him and Bebe were going out. Stan knew the two had been talking on and off for weeks now and since Wendy is just now telling him, Stan knows this had to be recent.

"Recently." Wendy smiled as Red passed the pair and waved. Stan couldn't help but notice after the pair left Red's peripherals Wendy rolled her eyes, outwardly.

"Like how recent. Wendy you know about her and Kyle," Stan shifted the load of books to fish his phone out of his front pocket to text Kyle.

Wendy's hand intercepted Stan's before he could plunge his fingers down his pocket. "Stan, this is a secret. A huge secret." Stan face contorted, showing Wendy exactly how he felt.

Stan hated secrets. He hated the word secret. When Stan was younger, secrets were a breeze. That was mostly because when Stan was little, there were no secrets. Even the girls weren't afraid to tell off each other at the expense of nice shoes.

"Okay, it happened this past weekend, at Token's." Wendy tried to ease her boyfriend's apparent disgust. "Bebe told me to tell no one, but I just couldn't hold it in. It's really true! My best friend is a slut, isn't she Stan!" Wendy stopped at the door of her class, smiling to a few girls walking in making the 'awww' face at the couple before jutting out her lips for Stan's connect.

"You know I hate secrets, Wendy."

"Ugh," Wendy quickly planted a kiss on Stan's angry lips, "Listen, I'm sorry. I know you have more secrets than you know what to do with blah blah, I'll never tell you anything again Stan!" With that, Wendy stormed into her classroom.

"Just don't tell me things I can't tell anyone else." Stan's anger was boiling over. As the bell started to ring, Stan began walking towards his own class.

Stan couldn't help but think back to the first time he realized he hated secrets.

"_Don't tell Kyle, but I hate staying the night at his house."_

"_What did you say, Cartman?" Stan couldn't believe Eric Cartman, fatass and bigmouth, actually had something he wanted to hide._

"_Yea, I mean, you all know I hate Kyle, but we've always just known that's us…" Stan watched as Cartman pulled into his driveway. The two plus Kenny had just left Kyle's house from a sleepover weekend. There was the usually bickering between the two, but Stan had not noticed anything out of the ordinary. _

"_Cartman, I don't get it…" Stan still couldn't get over that fact that Cartman was trying to hold a serious conversation. Maybe going to high school really had an effect on the boys._

"_I hate listening to his mom and dad talk about the stupidest shit. Ike freaks me the fuck out, and the whole place smells cheap… Gah stupid Jews!"_

"_Dude…"_

"_Listen, just don't tell Kyle. I know it would make him mad, because…. Because he's gonna be able to tell I'm serious. I don't want him to actually hate meh!" Cartman's bitch speech sneaked through. _

_Stan continued to stare until Cartman pulled into his driveway, unlocking his car doors for Stan to get out._

"_It's a secret okay? Just keep it you fag."_

Although his secret wasn't _that_ big of a secret, Stan knew that things were slowly shifting in the social world of South Park. At least for Stan.

He now had to keep secrets not only to be in good graces with the ones that told him the secrets, but in order to prevent any fights that the secrets can cause. It'a s dangerous thing those secrets are. .

Since their freshman year, Stan has been bombarded with secrets from almost everyone possible. Wendy about Kyle, Kyle about Kenny, Kenny about Cartman, Catman about Wendy, Wendy about Cartman, even his sister had some secrets to tell him. Stan was sick of it.

Going into their senior year of High School, the secrets have certainly been piling up

"Stan, we're already late, I was looking for you this morning but I couldn't find you, lets get to class." Kyle didn't bother to say hey.

Stan shrugged off his bad mood and pushed the secret aside.

"What's wrong with you, dude?" Kyle asked as the four boys made their way out of school.

The secrets were the worst when it came to Kyle and Wendy. His best friend and his girlfriend, those were the ones that ate him up the worst.

"Nothing, just Wendy pissed me off today, its cool." Stan could hardly take the thought of lying to his best friend.

"Well just finger her tonight and she'll be over it, jeez, don't be such a puss." Cartman, laughed.

"If you wanna learn how to do anything else with her, you know who to call." Kenny winked at Stan. What upset Stan was the even Kenny had his secrets to hide.

"Yea, that slut Bebe!" Cartmen elbowed the blonde, causing both of them to explode into a fit of giggles.

"Shut up you fat ass, you're just jealous that she's my girlfriend and not yours." Kyle of course went to his new girlfriend's aid. Kyle was so oblivious.

"Yea right, I'm good on someone's sloppy seconds." Cartman elbowed Kenny once more, but it came with a different tone than laughter.

"I gotta wait for my sister, we're collecting our food stamps and going grocery shopping," Kenny smiled and tried to ignore the last comment.

"See ya Kenny," Kyle waved at the blonde. Kenny awkwardly left, glancing at Stan to ensure his secret make out session at Butter's party the previous weekend was kept a secret.

"Bye, Kenny." Stan tried to give a reassuring look.

Man, did he hate secrets.

"Mom, I'm having Wendy over later, is that cool?" Stan walked into his kitchen, phone in hand, ready to text Wendy the invite.

"No, Stan, we're going to a dinner with your father's potential new boss. Its important the whole family be there!" Stan's mom, Sharon, said as she remained clipping coupons.

"What, no way that's gay. Shelley is going, too?" Stan was getting pissed that every time he has a reason to use his phone, he get's stopped.

"Yes, and I was told his son is super sexy!" Shelley, Stan's older sister walked in, clearly trying to make a good impression for this mystery boy.

"Shelly, you still have braces, you'll never look good." Stan was in the mood to be a dick.

"You're such a dick, Stan!" See?

"Shelly, Stan is right, take off all that make-up," Randy Marsh came in frantically in just a bath towel. "And besides, he's still in high school, he's in Stan's grade." Randy was rummaging through the pantry, "Sharon, where's the mayonnaise!"

"Dad, you're such a dick!" With that, Shelley ran upstairs, hopefully to wash off all of that make-up.

"Randy!" Sharon yelled, "The mayonnaise is in the fridge, and Stan you probably know this boy. It would really be helpful if you were on your best behavior with his son, your father is clearly worried about this dinner meeting."

Stan rolled his eyes, Stan wanted nothing to do more than to sit in his room with Wendy and rub his lips on hers, envisioning himself rubbing the secret out of him and back into her. Why were people so worried about what other people said about them? More importantly, why were people so worried about other people?

"Where are we going, mom?"

"We're going to the Tucker's."


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Marsh and family! Welcome!" Mr. Tucker answered the door. Stan could have sworn he saw Mr. Tucker flip both of his parents the bird when he took their coats.

"Oh Sharon! You brought wine, how lovely!" Mrs. Tucker said while accepting the wine bottle, "we'll have to save this for after dinner."

"Craig, Ruby, our company is here, dinner is ready soon!" Stan heard Mrs. Tucker yell while they directed his parents into the kitchen.

Before he knew it, Stan was standing alone. He wasn't sure when Shelley left his side, but he could see her comfortably seated at the Tucker's living room couch, flipping through the channels like they were at home again.

Stan glanced up the stairs. No one seemed to be making a move up there, so Stan decided to find Craig. Or Ruby. He wasn't sure who was going to be nicer.

Stan walked up the stairs to find every door closed. One was labeled 'Powder Room,' another 'Ruby,' At the very end of the hall Stan found the door labeled, 'Craig.' Nice and boring, just the way Craig liked it.

He should go in and say hello, but he was afraid to see what was behind the door labeled Craig. What should of happened was Craig should have came out and invited him up to his room, trying to impress Stan with all of his cool things. Craig was never one to impress, but Stan was sure Craig had some cool gadget in his room. Stan tightened his grip on his bookbag. There was no real reason for his bag, since it only held his Trigonometry book, but it was more like a safety blanket. Both Craig and Stan shared 3rd bell Trig. Craig had Token and Stan had Wendy. All Stan knew about Craig was his hate for his group that has been brewing since grade 3 when his group convinced him to fight Tweek, now one of his best friends.

"You can come in you know."

Stan heard muffled words through the door.

"w-What?" Stan suddenly realized that he was just standing outside of Craig's door, daydreaming.

"I can hear you breathing outside of my room, you can come in." Stan was surprised at the speech he heard. He hadn't really talked to Craig since about 4th grade, when the boys tried to use Craig's birthday money for their Peruvian Flute Band.

Opening the door Stan gasped. The walls were plastered with different bands and movies that Stan had hardly heard of. While looking around Stan saw a guinea pig cage, and a huge TV. When his eyes finally settled on the TV Stan saw dead bodies and grenades flash on the screen. "Call of Duty," Stan blankly said, trying to connect to something in this different room. What happened to nice and boring?

"Call of Duty." Craig repeated. Stan turned his attention to Craig. It was the first real time that he got a good look at him. Craig still wore his Chullo hat, but it was slightly pushed off his head thanks to the headset he wore, revealing his dark hair. He was never chubby like his other best friend Clyde, but more lean. Stan noticed how smooth his skin was and how dark his eyes were until he noticed those eyes were staring at him.

"What?" Stan said defensively.

Craig turned his attention back to his screen. "I gotta go, my dad's client is here." This is the Craig Stan remembered. The one that barely gave a fuck about him, the one that hardly answered his questions, the one so not cool. Its hard to believe that such a boring person could live in such a cool room.

"Yea, just shoot me a text, later." Stan realized he still hadn't said anything as he watched Craig turn off his headset.

Craig stood up and stretched, taking off his hat and running his hands through his hair before placing it back on his head. Hair hidden.

The two stood there a moment, in silence.

"You wanna go eat, now?" Something seemed different about Craig. Stan wasn't sure, but he never remembered Craig being so, nice. Maybe nice is not the word for it. How about, less mean.

"Sure," was all Stan could say.

"Thanks for joining us boys!" Mrs. Tucker said as she handed the two cups filled with ice. "Drinks are in the fridge, your plates are on the island." Craig flipped his mom off and his mom returned to favor.

Stan and Craig poured themselves a drink and walked to join their sisters at the Tucker's island in their kitchen.

"Dude, why aren't we sitting at the table?" Stan asked Craig, who was already shoveling his food in.

"Our table is too small for eight people," Ruby said, smiling at Stan, "So whenever daddy has clients we eat here with the kids."

"I'm not a kid!" Shelley spat out.

"How old are you?" Ruby asked. From what he could see, Ruby was the nicest Tucker of them all.

"None of your fucking business, brat." Shelley really needed to work on her manners.

"What did I tell you about talking to ugly bitches, Ruby?" Craig asked in his monotone voice.

"Don't try to be nice or they'll steal your pretty."

"That's right. This is the ugliest of the ugly, so just keep your distance."

Craig looked up to face Shelley who was sitting next to Ruby. Shelley's face turned bright red and looked down at her plate and continued eating.

Stan wanted to say something, something like 'hey, don't talk to my sister like that,' but he couldn't. It was the truth. Shelley was the ugliest of the ugly.

After dinner Mrs. Tucker walked back into the kitchen to grab the bottle of wine Stan's mom brought.

After she noticed the four kids still seated she turned to them, "Why don't you guys go play in Craig and Ruby's room? We're still doing some talking."

"I'll just go watch tv," Shelley said silently and slid out of her chair. "The food was excellent, Mrs. Tucker, thank you."

With that, Shelley walked into the other room.

"I'm going to call Ike!" Ruby bounced off to her room, unphased by Shelley's words.

Once the girls left, Stan felt uncomfortable. For some reason, Stan could not find words like he usually could. Over the years Stan has become quite comfortable with talking to anyone.

"You wanna go smoke a blunt?" Craig said as he gathered his an Stan's plates and walked them over to the sink.

"A blunt?" Stan had smoked. A lot. But he never knew that Craig smoked.

"You do smoke, right?" Craig asked while he washed the dished off and set them in the dishwasher.

"Yes, all the time." Why did Stan feel like he needed to impress Craig?

"That's what I thought, then lets go."


	3. Chapter 3

So to anyone and everyone reading this, I just wanna say thanks. This is my first go at these kind of things and I'm not sure how its going. And sorry the last chapter was kinda lame. I'm still trying to sort out what is going on myself. Oh, and I don't own any of this, On with it-

Stan realized that Craig wasn't as uncomfortable as he was. "So…" Stan sat on the bed in Craig's room as Craig sat at his desk, grinding his weed with a grinder, "how did you know I smoke weed?"

"Because you hang out with Kenny," Craig responded right away, "and I know Kenny."

"You know Kenny?" Stan asked, wondering why he didn't know that the two boys knew each other.

Craig paused as he deposited the plastic tube from his blunt wrap, "Yes, I know Kenny. I know you, too Marsh."

Of course he knew Kenny, and of course he knew Stan. Stan felt stupid after hearing that comment. " I meant, like, I didn't know you two knew each other that well."

Stan could tell Craig's patience was wearing thin. In no time Craig held up a perfectly rolled blunt wrap. "Listen, it's not hard to know Kenny smokes pot." Craig stared Stan in the eye. His expression turned from scowl to smirk, "Anyways, lets light this fucker, huh?" He gestured Stan to stand up and follow him.

Stan watched Craig open his bedroom window and crawl out on his hands and knees. When there was no invitation except silence, Stan took it to mean he should come out, too.

The view from the Tuckers was a lot different than Stan had at his house. While the two boys still lived within walking distance of each other, Craig's house had more greenery around it. Craig took a lighter to the wrap, guiding the flame down it's spine and soon lit the end of it. Craig inhaled the first hit, Stan could almost physically see Craig's nerves drop. Stan was too busy watching Craig French inhale the second hit that he didn't realize the blunt was being dangled in front of him.

"Marsh, you gotta stop staring at me."

Stan's cheeks reddened when he realized Craig was actually joking with him.

"I'm sorry I—"

"It's cool, Marsh, just take it and hit it." Craig being nice? This was too much for Stan. Where was the kid that flipped him the bird even when he looked in his direction?

Stan smiled and hit the blunt. He immediately began coughing. His lungs felt like they were about to implode, that the thc might have stolen all of his oxygen. "What tha –Cough- fuck –cough- Craig?"

This was the third time Stan saw Craig smirk, ever. "You like that? None of that shit weed you're used to smoking."

He was right. This weed was much better than Kenny's. Kyle, Cartman, and Stan never questioned where Kenny got his weed, but they never really knew anything better. Stan thought it tasted like laundry.

"Tastes like laundry, doesn't it?"

"I've never tasted anything like this before."

"That's because Kenny gets his stuff from Bailey, I get mine from Denver."

"Damn dude, all the way from Denver? Do you want me to give you some money for this?"

Before Stan knew it, the blunt was more than half gone and he was getting very hungry again.

"I'm good, Marsh."

"You know, because you've hated me and my friends since like, fourth grade ever since we tried to get you to invest, well you know how that went. How was I supposed to know that you were gonna save the world? I mean I really felt bad about that for a while, probably until seventh grade. I would see you in the halls and you'd flip us off, and I'd ask Clyde when were got on the football team and he said you hated everyone, but I kinda felt like that was because of us and wow, look at that, is that an airplane?" Stan couldn't tell he was rambling, but all he knew was that he wished he could reach out and touch that plane.

He completely forgot Craig was right next to him until he heard Craig's laugh. Not a sneer or a snicker, but an actual laugh.

"What the Fuck Craig?" Stan had never felt this much effect from smoking. Of course, he's never really shared a blunt with just one other person. Usually Cartman is inhaling as much as he can and Kenny chiefs down, too.

"I completely forgot about that."

"You forgot about you hating us because he stole your birthday money?"

"Yea, I mean, I just wasn't a fan of anyone except my friends. I flip off anyone, that's really nothing special for me."

"How could you forget that." Stan was almost hurt.

"A lot of these bad boys in between." Craig held up the roach of the blunt. "Damn, Marsh, you can sure burn down." Stand couldn't tell if Craig was high, his voice was always monotone.

Stan blushed. Craig pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Stan heard that smoking a cig after you smoke weed makes you higher, but he's never tried it.

After a long moment of silence, Stan could no longer standing being in his own mind.

"You know what I hate?"

"What" Craig exhaled.

"Secrets."

"Secrets."

"Secrets." Stan affirmed. He could tell he had gotten Craig's attention by now and wasn't afraid to confide in Craig. Maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was Craig's laugh, Stan couldn't tell.

"It's like, I hate when someone walks up to you and tells you something, and then after you get the initial shock of whatever fucked up thing they just told you they always throw in, 'oh and it's a secret, so don't tell.' Once you realize that it's a secret those words become so much more weighted. If you tell you're not only hurting the person its about, but the person that told you!"

Stan stopped to catch his breath. Craig opened his mouth to comment but was cut off by Stan.

"And what's worse is that by this time in our lives there's so many secrets spiraling in my head that I feel like I'm hurting everyone if I open my mouth just a little bit about anything! Kyle has something to hide from Cartman, Cartman has a secret about Kenny, Kenny about every girl in the school, even Wendy has secrets I can't tell, and they're usually about my friends!"

Stan 's chest heaved up and down, it was like he had just run the mile in 5 minutes.

Suddenly, Stan realized what he had just said to Craig Tucker. Craig Tucker.

Stan was about to apologize until Craig spoke.

"That's because you don't have real friends."

"What?" Stan stopped feeling bad, and began wanting to beat him in the face.

"If your friends were actually friends, they wouldn't keep secrets from one another. They would say how they felt to each other's faces and they would accept it and move on."

"You're…. Right." Stan felt the most alive he had ever felt. Which was weird considering it was the highest he ever was.

Craig and Stan crawled back into Craig's room.

"You think my parent's are ready to leave yet?"

"It's doubtful, you can still hear glasses of wine being poured."

"Do you wanna do our Trig homework? I have the first three finished."

Craig turned on his Ps3 and signed into playstation network to play more Call of Duty.

"I already finished mine, you can copy it if you want, its sitting on my desk."

Stan walked to Craig's desk and saw a few seeds and twigs, "Was that the last of your weed? I can definitely pay you then, especially if you're letting me copy off of your homework…. I don't think I could focus on Trigonometry anyways…." This was the most Stan has talked to anyone in a while. He was usually so quiet with his friends, making sure not to out any of their secrets.

"It's cool dude, I was planning on going to get more tomorrow anyways. Did you find my homework?" Craig's eyes were glued to the screen. Stan saw a few game invites pop up in the right hand corner of Craig's tv screen.

"Aren't you gonna play with anyone?"

"No I'm waiting for you to get finished so we can play."

Stan's heart was slightly racing. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he was a little kid again, surrounded by unjudging eyes.

Stan tried to finish copying Craig's homework as fast as he could, but his parent's beat him.

"Stan honey, time to go home!"

Stan had just finished the last problem. "Damn, sorry I couldn't finish fast enough."

"That's usually not a bad thing." Stan could hear the smile in Craig's voice.

"I'm joking, see you tomorrow, Stan."

"Yea, thanks again Craig, for everything. See you tomorrow." Stan couldn't stop smiling on the way home to his house.

Craig had shined a new light on everything in Stan's life.

It seemed like Stan needed to hang out with Craig more often.


	4. Chapter 4

"What the fuck did I do with it?" Stan began frantically throwing papers out of his book bag.

Last night after coming home from Craig's all Stan could do was sleep. He hardly had time to take off his shoes before his head hit the pillow and his eyes sealed shut for the night. Sure it might have been that good weed Craig smoked with him, but it was more about the good conversation that Stan was worn out from. On the car ride home Stan had so many thoughts going through his head, he could barely walk straight when they got home.

"Dude, what did you lose?" His super best friend, Kyle walked up to join Stan at his locker.

"My trig homework, I can't find I anywhere!" Stan had already emptied every side pocket of his bag.

Stan was positive he brought his Trig book home from Craig's. Why else would he have his bookbag still? He clearly remembered packing his bag and saying goodbye to Craig didn't he?

Stan could tell what to expect from Kyle once Stan started to panic. Kyle was always so on edge about Stan's emotions, which is another reason why Stan felt strangled by the secrets. He would never ever do anything to hurt Kyle, but how was he supposed to know if keeping a secret from Kyle is helping or hurting the situation?

"Dude, calm down, I'm sure someone will let you copy their work. What about Token? Who else is in your class?" Stan knew his panic would overflow to Kyle. Kyle always grew concerned for Stan's well being. Kyle would soon separate from Stan to find Bebe and Stan would have to find Wendy. Stan could barely look Bebe in the eye after he learned what Craig and Clyde did to her.

That's right! He forgot to ask Craig about that. Craig himself said there should be no secrets between friends, so maybe he should try this out.

Maybe once he finds out the truth to this H-clap story, Stan could tell Kyle, and maybe everything will be okay. Maybe Kyle will not cry and tell Bebe who told him so Stan could be spared a bitch-out session from Wendy. Stan sighed; every secret hurts him in some way.

"Where did you have it last?" Kenny McCormick came up to the duo, Eric Cartman at his side.

Cartman began picking up books from Stan's open locker and leafing through them.

Stan inwardly cringed at the reuniting of the foursome. He could think of about four secrets about each of the boys that the other of the boys had told him. He thought about what the situation would look like if he just aired it all out right now. Instead of smiling and pretending everything is okay, he could turn to every one of his friends and tell him how he felt and how the others felt about him. With this new empowerment of honesty, Stan's head was spinning. Maybe he should find Craig, but then there would be more questions from the boys, and Stan didn't know if he was quite ready to be honest yet. The four had always felt the hate from Craig, but since Stan was the only one that knows Craig's stand on them now, he's not sure how the other three would handle it. Although didn't he say he knew Kenny? Then why hadn't Kenny said anything about him before? Maybe he was Kenny's secret…

"I already looked, Cartman, no nudes of Testaburger." Kenny elbowed the chubby boy still looking through Stan's books.

"Guys, this is serious," Kyle came to Stan's aid. Stan was still in his head until he heard Cartman's famous insults towards Kyle.

"Shut up Kyle, just because your boyfriend is upset—"

"Cartman he is not my boyfriend. We both have girlfriends now, you fat-ass"

"When are you gonna give girls up and realize your just a little fag for Stan!"

"When are you gonna stop being such a fat-ass, you fat-ass!"

Stan and Kenny just rolled their eyes. They had heard this argument since grade 4. Stan was pretty sure Kenny knew that Cartman liked Kyle. The only two people that didn't know were Cartman and Kyle. There were too many times that Stan and Kenny would be up playing video games while the other two boys were passed out in the sleeping bags, and moans and kyle's name could be heard coming from Cartman's bag.

Just then Stan saw his ticket out of this routine.

"Token!" Stan hated to admit it, but he often wondered if Kyle did have something for him. He would never ask, but sometimes Kyle's concern was a little much…

"Hey Stan… Guys…" Token was one of Craig's best friends. Needless to say, Token, like Craig, was never a big fan of the bunch before him. Stan quickly took a minute to imagine a world with friends like Craig and Token instead of Kyle and Cartman.

"How's it going, um, I was just wondering—"

"Did you take Stan's Trig book? He can't find it." Leave it to Kyle to be the mom.

Token had always felt uncomfortable in front of the boys. Stan felt less hate than Craig, but definitely nothing friendly. It was probably because of Cartman's racist comments and Kenny always dying, which is understandable.

"Uh, no." Token looked at Kyle, then realized he should be looking at Stan. It was his book after all. Stan figured he was walking towards Craig's locker, now. Or maybe Tweaks. He was coming from the B's and moving to the lower half of the alphabet.

"Are you SURE you don't know where it is, Token? None of your bro's need a Trig book?" Cartman eyed Token with straight racism. Stan almost stepped in to apologize when his Trig book appeared in his face.

"Looking for this, Marsh?"

Stan followed the Trig book to the hand that was holding it then to the arm then to the face.

"Craig."

Craig smirked and handed the book to Stan.

"God Craig, are you too lazy to do your own homework that you had steal his trig book to copy off of Stan's?" Kyle sounded like Wendy. A Bitch.

Before Stan could think of a good cover-up as to why Craig would have his homework he saw Craig shrug his shoulders and Stan knew he already beat him to words.

"I didn't steal it, he left it at my house."

With that Craig and Token walked towards Craig's locker, both looking unphased by the situation. Stan knew he would have to answer some questions.

Stan checked his Trig book, "Yep, my homework is in here, heh."

"What the fuck, dude."

Stan knew acting normal wasn't going to work. He hasn't acted normal in years.


	5. Chapter 5

This is a really short and dramatically dumb chapter. I'm sorry…

"Why the Fuck are you hanging out with Craig Tucker. Craig! He hates us and we hate him, remember?" Stan thought Kyle was overreacting a little.

"Dude calm down, its not like I—"

"Are we not good enough for you, Stan? I knew you were acting weird, but goddamn, that doesn't mean you have to go to Craig's little posse."

"Only a fag says posse, heh." Cartman watched, deciding to stir the pot a little more.

Kenny giggled as he watched the other two boys walk away.

"Listen, Kyle—"

"Shut up Cartman, you're the fag! You don't have a girlfriend! At least I have a girlfriend who—"

"Is a slut." As soon as the words left Stan he felt oddly happy.

"Dude…" Kyle stared at his best friend. Stan saw both Kenny and Cartman staring at him in disbelief. Noticing how much negativity coming towards him, Stan was suddenly irate that the boys were so amazed at his words. Kenny and Cartman can say the same thing, but why can't Stan?

"Well, its true." The boys waited for Stan to go on. "I-I mean I heard just last weekend—"

"Stan! Can I talk to you for a second?" Stan was intercepted by Wendy walking towards the group. He noticed that Bebe was also with her, but Wendy had pushed Bebe to Kyle so she couldn't hear what the two were about to talk about.

Stan closed his locker and once again inwardly rolled his eyes. While Wendy was leading him away he saw the other four smiling and laughing. Stan couldn't help but wonder, do they not care that they are all being fake with one another?

"Listen, Stan." Wendy began, "I can't take this negativity anymore. I can't share one thing with you without you making a big deal about it. And what's this I hear about you hanging out with Craig?"

"You've already heard about that? It's not that big of a deal Wendy—" Stan began, instantly getting irritated that the Craig thing was a big deal.

"It is a big deal, Stan." Wendy said as if they were talking about a shortage of oxygen instead of Craig Tucker. The bell saved Stan from any further talking. Wendy hugged her books tighter, "I'll just talk to you in third, okay? Just, try to be happier…" Was it a bad thing that Stan was relieved that there was no goodbye kiss?

Stan stayed in his mind the first two class periods. All he could think about was what Wendy said. _It is a big deal, Stan. _Why? Why was it such a big deal to tell people these things, but keep them from others? Why was Craig Tucker a big deal to his friends? Just then, in the midst of listening to another periodic table joke from Ms. Bunn, Stan thought of the answer. Craig Tucker is a big deal because he is the exact opposite of a secret. There is nothing about Craig that he keeps a secret. People don't know anything about him because no one has bothered enough to ask. But, just like last night, Stan was wiling to bet money that if he were to ask Craig about the Bebe story, he would answer, without hesitation. Craig doesn't go around telling his personal life, nor anyone else's. Craig is the anti-secret.

Third period could not come soon enough.

After the lecture and Stan's constantly moving eyes, their teacher lets them work in groups and pairs on their homework assignment. The whole time Stan was constantly avoiding Wendy's looks of concern and trying to steal glances at Craig. Craig still seemed so indifferent to the situation that seems to be unfolding. Either Craig was too clueless to realize that there was talk about him, or he simply didn't care. Stan was about to find out which one it was.


	6. Chapter 6

Third bell just rang.

Stan practically tore through the classroom trying to get to Craig before him and Clyde could walk out of the room. Clyde had noticed before Craig. Craig was simply tucking his books into his book bag.

Stan ignored Wendy's annoying foot tappings and left her to carry her own books to her next class. He knew she wouldn't wait longer than a few seconds before she huffed away, having new ammo for her StanHate cannon for all the girls.

"Marsh, my man, what's happening?" Clyde smiled. Stan noticed the quick glance he gave Craig, to which Craig shrugged his shoulders.

"Cheesy, Clyde. Hey Marsh." Craig waited for Stan to say something further, but he was stuck. Craig started walking out of the room with Clyde and Stan at his heels. Clyde was waiting for a conversation as well, but awkwardly backed out when his locker was close.

"I'll uh, catch you later, Stan. Craig." Clyde left for his locker, leaving Stan and Craig to walk in awkward silence.

"I didn't mean to cause a little scene with your gang this morning." Craig began talking. Stan expected Craig to be awkwardly fidgeting with his things or at least show some sort of anxiety.

"You don't mean that." Stan said.

Craig smirked. Which made Stan blush, only lightly. "You're right, I don't. You're learning, Marsh." Craig stopped in the middle of the hallway, facing Stan.

"What?" Stan asked as Craig nonchalantly watched students pass them by.

"Well, aren't you going to your locker?" Craig motioned towards the lockers.

"Oh…. Yea." Stan couldn't remember the last time Craig was so nice to him. It really has been a long time since Craig and Stan's gangs have feuded. Stan couldn't believe Craig was so considerate to wait for him to get his books, then have Stan walk with him to his locker.

"So what's this all about then," Craig picked up their conversation while walking to his locker.

Stan began choking. He couldn't think of what to say to Craig. He knows the first step is asking if that secret is true, and if it is, then he could tell Kyle with confidence, and save his super best friend from getting hurt. At the expense of his girlfriend, but oh well. Bros before Hos, right?

"Well, this has been a lovely… conversation, if you want to call it that, Marsh. You're time is up, until next time." Craig flatly said as he approached his locker to find a waiting Tweek Tweak.

Stan suddenly felt offended. Why was he suddenly cut short of Craig? Just because of Tweek showing up, could they not talk in front of him? "What the Hell Tucker, too good to talk now? I thought you said there are no secrets around friends."

The old Craig Tucker came back, for a brief moment, to answer Stan's question. "That's because I'm not friends with you and your fag-ass-shit-eating friends, Marsh. I gave you time to talk to me, and now you're interrupting my time to hang out with my actual friends. What ever you needed to say to me you clearly didn't need to say since you haven't said a goddamned word since we left first bell. If you have something to say to me then spit it out." Stan could feel Craig's breathe on his ears.

Craig was right. This whole time of walking, and Stan had no idea what to say. He just wanted a moment with Craig like last night. He wanted to be able to talk to someone again.

Stan heard Tweek's twich. "Ngh, H-h-I Stan." Stan felt Craig and Tweek's eyes on him. What was he supposed to say?

"Hey, Tweek." Then, there was a gridlock. Craig, still apparently waiting for Stan's words, and Tweek, freaking out about Stan standing in front of them. And Stan, not knowing what to say to either of them. He had never felt so insecure in his life.

Then, Tweek and Craig began carrying on like Stan wasn't there. Craig started emptying his books into his locker and gathering different ones for the next class. Tweek stood and unconsciously pulled at his hair.

"Stop." Craig commanded and Tweek caught himself in mid pull. "So erg, uhm, can I get a Q?"

"Are we all splitting an O again? That seems to work best." Stan had no idea what the two were talking about. What was with the letters?

Craig finished up at his locker and closed his door. He turned to Tweek and must have smiled at him, because Tweek smiled back. "Stanley, would you like to purchase some weed as well?"

Stan couldn't believe they were just talking about it out in the open like that. Stan thought about what his friends would be like if they were just as high as he was the previous night. Maybe they would let their feelings out too?

"Y-yes, yes I would!" Then Stan thought of an amazing idea. Denver was a long way, even by car. Maybe he would ride with Craig and talk to him, ask him his question, and just spend time with him then. But, why did he crave Craig's presence?

While devising the scheme, he didn't realize Craig and Tweek were still looking at him. "What?" Stan asked out loud.

"How much, man! How much!" Tweek almost lost it. Stan saw Craig put a comforting arm around Tweek to calm him down. Stan grew jealous, then instantly embarrassed.

"Uhm, I… don't know…" Stan had no idea what he was doing. How much was enough? How much money was going to be needed? "Can I just go with you?" Stan blurted out.

The two boys exchanged glances. "Sure, Marsh. I leave right after school, though, so that means you gotta miss your little ball game."

"You mean football practice?"

"Yeh." Tweek twitched.

"I can do that."

"Great, find me after seventh bell. I'm sure you'll be able to find me, you seem to be locating me easily today."

"Its only arg, third, erg, bell." Tweek commented.

"I have a feeling it's gonna last all day, Tweek."

Stan should have stuck up for himself at some point, but he was too busy thinking of what to say to Craig on their car ride. Stan makes a mental note to write down his question and conversation starters before the ride.


	7. Chapter 7

Stan stood awkwardly at Craig's locker. Actually, he wasn't sure if it was Craig's but he knew it was around the T's, so he figured he'd catch him at some point. He knew where Wendy's locker was, so he positioned himself a little further down. Stan never met with Wendy or Kyle after school due to football practice. Stan had Butters write out a note excusing him from practice and forged a doctor's signature. Not that it mattered, nothing really happened during practice.

Stan looked through his wallet. He had exactly 40 dollars on him, two twenty's. It took about three hours to get to Denver and Stan was thrilled to be able to talk to Craig for a minute, or 180, in private.

"Nice guess, but you're a little off." Craig said as he approached his locker and found Stan standing an awkward distance away from his locker. Stan was about 7 lockers off, and quickly killed space in between the two raven haired boys.

"S-sorry," Stan muttered as he took a moment to inspect Craig's locker: Books stacked neatly, and a small brown paper bag on the top shelf.

"I see you don't need a tour." Craig noticed Stan looking. "Ready?"

Stan walked with Craig in silence. Craig walked with his head down, focused on his phone, texting someone. Stan checked his phone and phone two messages from Kyle.

_We should talk after your practice._

_Call me._

Stan couldn't reply since he was supposed to be at practice, but figured he'd think of an excuse later. Or maybe he should just tell Kyle the truth, _Sorry I wanted to hang out with Craig, but hey I found out he H-clapped Bebe!_ Yeah right.

"You want front seat?" Stan looked up to see Craig throwing his book bag in his trunk and waited for Stan's to join his.

"Front seat?" Stan looked in the car to see two blonde haired boys sitting in the back, at least he thought they were blonde, the windows were almost too foggy to tell.

"Yea, they're fine back there, let's go." Craig opened his door and Stan followed suit.

Stan had no idea he would not be the only one going with Craig. He was about to yell at Craig about not telling him, but it sounded too gay. He was also interrupted by two arms around his neck, "Hellooooo Nurse."

Kenny McCormick's face came into view. "Look, two brunette's in front Blonde's get back!" Stan cringed at the cackle Kenny let out.

Craig smirked, "Marsh, you remember McCormick, right? And Tweek is back there, too."

"Hey." Tweek sounded the most relaxed Stan had ever heard from the boy. Stan turned around to see Tweek hitting a joint, staring out the window.

"Hey, you look…"

"Happy? Not Freaking out? Yea, that's the stuff we smoked last night, it's Tweek's last bit." Craig informed Stan as he was passed the joint.

"You've never smoked this shit before have ya?" Kenny started flipping through Craig's iPod, eyes darting to the joint every so often.

"Yea I have, I want some." Stan felt oddly left out of this drug circle. "And I didn't know you hung out with Craig." Stan said to Kenny, almost sounding hurt.

"You never asked." Kenny blankly told him. "And when did you smoke this chron chron?" Kenny asked, surprised to hear about Stan smoking without him.

"When he was at my house last night," Craig passed the joint to Stan, making obvious to Kenny he was to wait his turn. "Just hit it once, kay?" Stan nodded and inhaled sharply once, then handed it to Kenny.

"Damn, you and Craig, huh? I'm jealous, I haven't even had a night alone with him!" Kenny let his middle finger outline Craig's right ear. Stan didn't know if Kenny was being serious or making fun of him for the earlier comment.

"I'm driving here, McCorny" Craig signaled his turn and swat away Kenny's finger, finished with his own in the air.

"So how much you getting, Stan?" Tweek's calm voice made its way to Stan's ears.

Silence filled the car.

"Um.." Stan looked to Craig for help.

"You really made them rely on you for green huh" Craig directed towards Kenny who was sitting back in his seat again, playing on his phone.

"I didn't know Stan liked smoking so much, he's never really been the best person to be high with."

"What do you mean!" Stan felt the weed relax his nerves a bit, making him feel a little more comfortable.

Kenny looked up, surprised at Stan's emotions. "It's just that… you're always so paranoid, and it's not like my parent's care so you're always just…"

"High-strung." Craig finished Kenny's sentence for him.

Stan waited for Craig to comment how he was all smiley and ranting last night, but Craig never said anything. He never even looked towards Stan for reassurance of his secret happy high mood last night. Oh right… Craig didn't do secrets.

"Yeah! High strung, so I never knew you liked smoking!" Kenny smiled at his finished thought.

"Let Tweek here fill you in about increments." Craig flicked an unlit cig towards the blonde sitting behind him.

Tweek looked so normal to Stan he was beginning to think something was wrong with himself.

Tweek just smiled at Stan, "You need at least a Q of this to last you a week. That's gonna cost ya a pretty penny."

"No No No, you're gonna need like a half, that way, you can turn it over, and still have enough to smoke a blunt to your dome every night." Kenny covered Tweek's mouth, Tweek just leaned further into his seat, giggling in Kenny's hand.

"They're being R-tards," Craig turned up the volume in the back and faded it out in the front so the two could talk. "I'm just gonna get a O for everyone to split. It'll be cheaper that way."

"Who is splitting it?" Stan felt oddly happy that he was getting some pseudo-alone time with Craig.

"Tweek, Kenny, Me, You, Token."

"Token! I didn't know he smoked!" Stan said more to himself than Craig.

"We all have our vices, Marsh." Craig smirked at Stan's amazement. "He usually splits it with Clyde since they are always smoking together. We can split a Q and make it even, if you want."

"Are we gonna be smoking a lot together?" Stan felt like a shy school girl. But instead of being asked out as a girlfriend he was being asked out as a smoking buddy.

"Way to make it gay, Marsh," Craig's smirk grew into a smile, "I figured there was no way you're gonna be okay smoking by yourself and blondie back there seems to tense you up, so why not?"

Stan had no idea how much a Q really was, or how many blunts you could get out of it, but he didn't really care.

He'd be getting at least a blunt's worth of alone time with Craig Tucker.


	8. Chapter 8

The car ride eased Stan's nerves.

Even though he didn't quite get the alone time he planned with Craig, he knew his front seat position meant something. Both Tweek and Kenny were too busy trying to scrape the resin out of their bowls, telling Stan 'he's not a true stoner until he takes a hit of a resball.'

Stan noticed that Craig seemed a lot more calm than he did the beginning of the car ride too. Of course, that could be because they just passed the Welcome to Denver sign. Stan looked to Craig for some sort of explanation of a resball.

"Don't hit it." Was all Craig gave Stan. The whole time Craig had been swirling his iPod control clockwise and counterclockwise. It was like he was antsy for the song he had just chosen to be over to go to the next song. It was music Stan had never really listened to before.

"Who are these guys? I've never heard of them." Stan said, clearing his throat. For the better part of the car ride he barely spoke a word. It was a mixture of being tired after his high and not having anything to drink. That and the music was so loud the other three boys were yelling over each other and the volume just to be heard by the person next to him.

Craig flashed a hint of emotion across his face. Then, he turned off his radio.

"What the hell, Tucker?" Kenny yelled from the back seat, causing Tweek to yelp too.

"How can you be friends with Kenny and not know who these people are." Craig even pulled over, so he could square his shoulders to Stan, looking for an explanation.

"Uh…" Stan didn't know what to say.

"I don't know, man, we just never listen to the stuff I like." Kenny said quietly.

"Why?" Craig persisted.

"I never knew you liked different music than I did." Stan said, turning to Kenny.

The car stayed silent. Stan felt like an ass. Kenny was supposed to be one of his best friends and he didn't even know what type of music he liked. He could see Tweek's eyes get really big and dart from the two boys. He saw Craig slightly shake his head, then turned back on the car.

"Let's go."

Kenny had nothing to say to Stan and Stan felt too upset to push it even further. Even when Craig left the car to run up and grab the weed, only Tweek's soft murmurs could be heard. Stan kept trying to sneak glances towards Kenny only to see his hood pulled all the way over his face, light from his cell phone reflecting off of the little bit of face Stan could see, which was his nose.

Craig made it back in exactly 16 minutes 47 seconds. Stan counted.

"Craig!?" Tweek shrieked as each boy in the back seat was given their own little baggy of green buds.

"Glad I was missed," Craig said, hardly glancing at any of the boys in the car. He turned to Stan, "Isn't this what you've been waiting for all day? You were practically shitting your pants to get it this morning." Craig threw him the baggy.

"Take a big wiff, because I'm the one holding it." Stan could barely bring the baggy up to his nose.

The ride home was filled with nothing but music softly playing. Craig nodded his head to the beats while Stan focused on his phone, scrolling through his contacts and thinking very hard about what he actually knew about his so called friends.

"How was I supposed to know you didn't like the music I listened to?" Stan heard himself break the silence. "You could have said something you know. Not just sat there and took it."

"Stan, who cares, just drop it." Kenny said.

"No, you're making me feel like a bad friend. And I—"

"Woah woah woah, Kenny's making you feel like a bad friend?" Craig cut in.

Stan was surprised he spoke up so quickly if at all. "I mean,"

"How is it that just because you didn't take the time to think about Kenny and his actual interests is Kenny's fault?"

Kenny's hand came into Stan's view of Craig. "Craig, just stop—"

"No No No, how is that okay?"

"Craig," Kenny leaned forward and for the first time caught Stan with his eyes. His eyes were red, not just bloodshot from smoking, but from clearly being upset.

"Listen Craig, just stay out of this. It's not like you have a best friend award either." Stan was beginning to feel the hate he harbored for Craig years ago.

Craig fell silent. Stan couldn't help but smirk, feeling like he stumped Craig.

His smile quickly faded when he realized that Craig was perfectly content with being silent. And for the last three hours, so were the other member's of the car.

Once the car stopped back at the high school, before the boys climbed out of Craig's car, Craig opened his door and slammed it, sat on top of the hood of his car and waited for the others to join him.

"What the fuck?" Kenny said as he followed suit, pulling Tweek out of his side of the car. "Coming, Marsh?"

Stan had never heard Kenny so angry.

"What's this about, Craig?" Kenny stood, leaning on Tweek.

When Stan joined the group Craig locked eyes with him.

"Come'ere Tweek." Craig signaled for Tweek to climb on top of the car to join him.

Tweek exchanged glances with Kenny, then climbed up, with the help of Kenny.

"What's my favorite color."

"Blue."

"What's my favorite food."

"P-pasta."

"Specifically."

"Angel hair, with alfredo sauce."

"My favorite sport."

"T-to watch o-o-or play?"

Craig paused, keeping his gaze on Stan.

"Both."

"Y-you like to watch tennis, but play s-s-s—"

"Soccer." Kenny finished.

Craig slid off the car and walked straight up to Stan, "That boy on the hood of my car loves the color green, only greens that remind him of the ocean, plays the trombone, only brushes his hair on Saturday's, can't eat yogurt, but loves cottage cheese, and only watches swimming. Sometimes we go to swim meets just so we can watch people swim."

Stan wasn't sure what was going on, or what Craig was trying to prove.

"Name one thing about Kenny that no one else knows."

Kenny pulled his hood back and faced Stan. Stan could tell he was begging him to at least name one thing about Kenny. Stan had no idea what to say. Craig was trying to prove a point that Stan was the one being the bad friend, not how Stan worded it the night before.

"You secretly like the way red looks on you, you think Purple is an ugly color, but since Wendy wears it, you can't tell anyone, but you can tell when youre disgusted because you look so far to the right, I can barely see your pupils." Kenny rattled off.

"And you were complaining about your friends telling you too much shit that you don't care about. Maybe if you focused on things that made your friends them, you would understand and keep your mouth shut."

Stan's whipped his head to Kenny, feeling embarrassed he was just outed in front of him.

"Your friends come to you because they actually think you care about them."

Craig stretched and opened the front passengers door for Tweek.

"I was wrong about you not having real friends, Marsh." Craig walked up to Kenny and handed him his full bag of weed, "This guy is one of the best people you will ever know and it's pretty sad that you're so hooked on who he sleeps around with to care about him."

"I thought you said you don't keep secrets, Tucker." Stan spat out.

"I don't," Craig snorted, walking to his side of the car, "I don't go running my mouth and complaining about what they tell me either."

"Look Stan, I'm wasting my breath with you. I've talked way more today than I ever want to in a week. Let me just say this," Craig hung half his body out his window, setting his butt on the door, "You can call Cartman and Kyle childish and their secrets stupid, but Kenny is different."

"Kenny needs good friends in his life," Craig threw a cigarette at Kenny. Kenny held his head low, but was able to catch the flying stick.

"It's a shame he's gone through this long thinking you were one of them."

Craig crawled back in and started his car while Tweek pressed his hand up against the window, mirroring Kenny's.

The two left, leaving just Stan and Kenny.

"Kenny, I—"

"Don't worry Stan, I already knew you were a bad friend."

Kenny started walking towards his house.

Stan had no idea what he was thinking, or how to make anything right. It was all true. Stan was a bad friend. He was a bad friend for a number of reasons, but he wasn't quite ready to sort them all out yet. Craig was right about Stan, but also wrong. It seemed like he had to prove it to him, and Kenny.

"Oh and Stan," Kenny turned around, his eyes hard.

"Y-yea?"

"Fuck you."

**I don't even know.**


End file.
